Compu-Diva.com

Sacramento Blues Society put on a show - 2008 Blues Divas - on August 10th.  It was a strange little venue and there weren’t very many people there.  They missed a good show!

Gail Bisho and Criminals of Love, not to be confused with the Gangsters of Love.  The guy playing the interesting bass thingy was her husband.   They teach somewhere.  Nice how I remember all the details.  Blame Beer and an aging mind.  NOTE:  IF YOU KNOW ANY OF THESE DETAILS, LEAVE A COMMENT!!! I’ll update as necessary.

My friend Jill was with me, she said, “Geez, he looks like a dentist.”  And from there on out, that’s all I could see when I looked at him.  Dancing, playing, dentist.  Dammit, Jill!

Gail wrote all their songs, and she’s actually a pretty good songwriter, should maybe be selling them songs in Nashveeel.  They were *that* sort of hooky-pop-country tunes.   Seriously, if someone else would sing them they’d be popular with a large chunk of the nation and she’d be rich.

I’d have to say Gail doesn’t sing much better than I do, but she has fun up on stage.  She also has about as much charisma and stage presence as I do, but playing on stage probably legitimizes her and the dentist for their music students.

Gail and The Dentist Rockin’ It

This is Lisa Phenix and Steve Wall.  Lisa has a Wonderful Voice, sounds like she should be doing folk a la Lucinda Williams rather than blues, but her version of Summertime was smokin’.  I meant to buy her CD while I was there but spaced it.  littlewing-lisaphenix

Steve Wall accompanied her.  He played with the Beer Dawgs and was awesome and more or less stole the show from Lisa.  By awesome, I mean that he played slide almost as good as my hero Roy Rogers.  Maybe as good.  I’m not a music connoisseur but I know what I like.  Steve made my jaw drop.  And he had such fun doing it!   I LOVE LOVE LOVE seeing/hearing great people play up close and personal like this.  I hope I get to see both of them again sometime, singly or together.

Iron women (center front of stage)

And now we pause from our musical adventure to take a moment and make fun of the biker chicks, because life has just been too safe lately.

These were the Iron Cowgirls, and they were having Some Fun.   Now, this isn’t much of a picture, but there are more coming.  I wanted to put this one in here because of the little old man.  We were worried he was going to have a heart attack but he danced and sweated like a man half his age - 50.   He was having a damned good time and danced with all the wimmens.  Later there’s a pic that looks like (I hope) he spilled a drink on his pants.

Iron Troll

The iron girls give Marshall Wilkerson(sp?) a headache

Iron Pony?

I have a shirt like the red and black and white one on the right.  I’m going to have to throw it away now. Related: I didn’t get any really great shots of the missing teeth. </catiness>

Back to the music:

Next up was Dana Moret.  She’s fun to watch and has a good voice and presence on stage. She used to sing with Mick Martin and crew, don’t know who she’s with now.  We enjoyed her.  She livened things up.

Lena Mosley

Lena Mosely –  She’s an old pro and crowd pleaser but I don’t actually know anything about her except that I’d watch her again.  Here’s a little bit about her.

Annie Sampson

Annie Sampson at SBS Blues Divas event - August 2008

Annie Sampson played last -  She was wonderful.  What a voice!  I’d never heard of her, either, but she’s been around a long time and has sung with every good musician on the planet. That guy on the guitar was good, too, but I don’t know who he was.  If you do, please add a comment and I’ll update.

Sorry (or are you glad?) the people after the biker chicks got such short shrift.  I didn’t take notes and I wrote the first part of this post right after the event, and the second, leaner part too many days later.

So, if anyone wants to know what WTF means, point them to this picture.  It’s Wil Wheaton with a lovely new gift from a “friend”.

With friends like that ….

The people on his blog think that it looks like Ferdinand Marco or Tiger Woods. HA HA HA. I’m going with Ferdinand.

I’m going to buy one of these paintings if he starts selling them on his website.  And then I’ll buy a bullfighter and Elvis and I can have a whole lovely Velvet Gallery.  Can’t wait!

August 24: Guitarthritis

The medical condition causing pain in the wrists after playing guitar hero for an extended amount of time.

“Man, I need to set this axe down.  My wrists hurt from my guitarthritis.”

My nephew the Guitar Hero God probably has carpal tunnel from playing it so much. But I’ll bet he says it’s from being on the computer so much.  Homework!

urbandictionary.com

http://migraine_boy98.typepad.com/a_riot_is_an_ugly_thing/2008/08/writers-block-friday.html

This made me laugh.  I clicked the link and left the big picture on my monitor and went to bed last night (NOT thinking about his junk)  and forgot about it.  Woke my computer up this morning and that ugly thing scared the shit out of me for just a fraction of a second when it showed up.  It was rather gratifying.

FRAK.  I have a boatload of drafts, all of which need work, and no desire to do anything to them.

But I can’t bear to look at the Evinrude joke on top of the blog anymore, so I’m posting this.  So there, ennui.

Some days these just kill me.

One of the twitterers (tj, probably) said, “Fuck sex checking Phelps - they need to check for an Evinrude up his ass.

–==++   TopFive’s News Headlines   ++==–
Russian Tanks Drop Georgia to Number 8 in Coaches Poll

Phelps’ Accepts French Team’s Dare to Swim Back Home

Freddie Mac Suffers More Loses, Fleetwood Mac Goes Its Own Way

Study: Countries Where People Busy Not Starving to Death Win
Fewer Medals

Male Viewers Unsure About Appropriateness of Being Aroused by
Chinese Gymnasts

Credits: Bingo Yarwell (1), Doug Frank (2), Jerry L. Embry (3),
David Kass (4), Joseph Moore (5)

Send submissions to headlines@topfive.com

August 13: Destinesia

When you get to where you were intending to go, you forget why you were going there in the first place. Not to be confused with being stoned, destinesia often occurs during working hours, and is the cause of much frustration.

John ran down the stairs to the dry storage and walk-in, but when he got there he couldn’t remember what he needed. Consequently, he had to run back upstairs to the kitchen, and look at his prep list again. Damn you, destinesia!

Urban Word of the Day

@hotdogsladies (Merlin Mann) twittering on managing your e-mail - or maybe this came from his website, I don’t remember because I started doing something else and turned this into a draft I just discovered.

Anyway …

“Time and attention are the most precious things you have in life. How many of us are learning how to manage our attention?”

————

Look, a chicken!

I worry about that a lot.  Not chickens, but managing priorities.    I only have x amount of attention and energy to give things.  Every day I have to re-prioritize my priorities.  Yes, I need to get that upgrade done ASAP, but the peaches will rot on the counter if I leave them.  That sort of adjustment would be a seasonal adjustment.  Maybe I have seasonal adjustment disorder.  SAD.  Yeah, that’s the ticket.  Still, every day I fret about it.  Very unproductive, this fretting. Lot of FAIL involved there.

What’s really spectacular is how much time I waste twittering.  Tweeting.  Reading tweets. Conclusion:

Priorities:  I’m doing it wrong.

Sort of, anyway.  Cooking domesticity.

Did I ever post the peach pie?  It was orgasmic.   Had to be the peaches, because I suck at baking.

Adapted from a recipe from Suite101, Cyndi Allison.

PS, how the hell do people take such nice food pictures and why don’t mine look that good?  I know, for starters, don’t set the pie on the most beat up aluminum cookie sheet that I own.  WhatEV.
* Double pie crust (9 inch size)
* 5 or 6 cups of fresh ripe peaches (sliced).  Wash the fuzz off a little if you’re not going to peel them. Or don’t worry about it.
* 1 TBL fresh lemon juice
* 1/2 cup sugar - My peaches were very sweet, so I halved the original 1 cup of sugar
* 5 or 6 TBLs regular flour, depending upon how soft and juicy your peaches are
* ¼ tsp cinnamon or less
* 2 TBS real butter

Directions:
After 3 tries, I got the perfect pie.
1. You can make your own pie crust or get a frozen double crust of refrigerator crusts.
2. If using prepared crusts, let them thaw out or warm up.  I used both Mrs. Smiths and Marie Callander’s crusts.  Marie’s wins in terms of butteriness.  I used the refrigerator type first.  It was not any better than the preshaped frozen crusts.
3. Mix the lemon juice with the fresh peaches. Stir to get the lemon juice mixed in.
4. In a separate bowl, mix together the sugar, flour, and cinnamon. Mix well. You can also dump it straight on the peaches, still works well.
5. Stir the sugar/flour mix in with the peaches.
6. Pour the peach mixture in a pie crust.
7. Dot the butter evenly around on top of the peach mix in the crust.
8. Top with the second crust.
9. Use a knife to make slits in the top pie crust.
10. Flute the edges of the crust. Or just mash them together like I did.  Still looks edible.
11. Bake in a preheated 425 degree F oven for around 40 minutes. Check often near the end of the baking time as ovens can vary. The middle of the pie should be a pretty buttery brown, and you’ll see bubbles in the knife slits.
12. You’ll probably need to put strips of tin foil or a pie edge protector around the outside edge of the pie the last 15 minutes or so. Fluted edges tend to get darker than the center on homemade pies.

Fresh peach pie is fabulous served warm. Some folks like to scoop on a spoon of vanilla ice cream.

Peach pie is also fine served cold. The pie does need to be stored in the refrigerator, since it’s a fruit pie.

————-

Remember the tomatoes from Hell?  I picked a bunch of green ones and made Chow-Chow from a recipe sent to me by my friend Bev.  She’s southern and her Mamaw (grandma to me) made Chow-Chow with a recipe that was about like this (she can’t find the original, it’s buried in her garage).

I think it has about twice as much vinegar as it needs, but then I’ve never really been an expert on Chow-Chow, so?   If you want a jar, let me know.  Warning:  It’s not for the faint of heart. Or faint of gastrointestinal tract.

Less peppers, more green tomatoes in my batch.  Really, it’s pretty weird.  But I’m not southern. YMMV.
Mamaw’s Chow-Chow

1 medium green cabbage, about 2 pounds
2 red peppers
4 green peppers (Skip these and add more onions and cabbage, if you ask me - Bev)
4 onions
6 green tomatoes
1/3 cup non-iodized salt
Cold water, about 8 cups
8 hot sterilized pint-size jars
1 tablespoon pickling spice
1 tablespoon mustard seeds
6 cups cider vinegar
2 1/2 cups granulated sugar
2 tablespoons turmeric
1 teaspoon powdered ginger
My comments are in [brackets]

Choose vegetables that are garden fresh and free of blemishes. Select a tight head of cabbage with green, tender leaves. Rinse the vegetables several times, making sure all are completely free of debris or grit.

Lay the cabbage on a cutting board and cut into quarters. Cut out the core and discard. Lay the cabbage flat on the cutting board and shred finely. Rinse 2 to 3 times with cold water and drain.  Core and dice the red and green peppers; thinly slice the onions; and chop the green tomatoes. [I used my food processor and just pulsed a few times, worked brilliantly on all the vegetables including the cabbage.  But not the red bell pepper, which I hand diced just to be pretty in the jars.]

Place the vegetables in a large glass or earthenware bowl. (You will probably have to use two bowls.) Sprinkle with the salt, and add just enough water to cover the vegetables. Using a large spoon, toss the vegetables well.

Cover the bowl with a cloth or plastic wrap and allow the vegetables to remain in the salt brine overnight, preferably in the refrigerator or in a cool place. The next morning, drain the vegetables well and set aside.

Prepare the sterilized jars. Meanwhile, tie the pickling spice and mustard seeds in a small piece of cheesecloth or any other white cotton fabric. (Canning purists do this to keep from biting down on seeds and berries when eating the chow-chow. The bag is removed from the relish before canning. It is perfectly acceptable to can the vegetables with the spices.)

Combine in a large, heavy, stainless steel or enamel pot the vinegar, sugar, turmeric, ginger, and the bag containing the pickling the pickling spice and mustard seeds. (Don’t use an aluminum, copper, or iron pot because the interaction of the vinegar and salt with these metals will discolor the vegetables.)
Add the drained, salted vegetables–the cabbage, red and green peppers, onions, and green tomatoes–and mix well.  [I also rinsed my veggies just a little, so as not to swell up like a balloon when I tried it.  Still plenty salty]

Cook the vegetables over medium-low heat for just 10 minutes, stirring constantly. [It took 20 minutes and I had the heat up on med-high for half the time.  It's a LOT of vegetables to heat through in 10 minutes on med-low. ]   Watch carefully because the mixture can stick and burn easily. Remove the pot immediately from the heat. Remove the cloth bag of spices and discard . Pack the vegetables into the hot sterilized jars (run them through a dishwasher cycle with the drying cycle on), leaving 1/2-inch space at the top of each jar. Seal at once.
Makes 8 pints.

If you need a little instruction or anything to get up to speed about Twitter, you can go to Twitter.com or I wrote a little thing about it here.
Thanks to Silverstar98121 for tweeting this. It captures everything.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.

When the waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, “Why the spoon?” “Well, “he explained, “the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped piece of cutlery. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our staff are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.”

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. “I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.” I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s zip on his trousers. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, “Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?”

“Oh, certainly!” Then he lowered his voice. “Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest-room. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the rest-room by 76.39 per cent.”

I asked “After you get it out, how do you put it back?”

“Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use
the spoon.”

A Photo That Can Steal Your Online Credentials
IDG News Service (08/01/08) McMillan, Robert

Researchers at the Black Hat computer security conference in Las Vegas next week will demonstrate an attack that could steal online credentials from users of popular Web sites. The attack uses a new type of hybrid software file the researchers have dubbed a GIFAR. By placing the file on Web sites that allow users to upload images, the researchers can circumvent security precautions and take over the Web page users’ accounts.

GS Software’s John Heasman says the GIFAR is a Java applet in the form of an image. GIFAR is a contraction of the graphics interchange format (GIF) and Java Archive (JAR), the two file types that make up the applet. The researchers will demonstrate how to create the GIFAR, while omitting a few details to prevent it from being used for a widespread attack. To a Web server, the file looks exactly like a GIF file, but a browser’s Java virtual machine will open the file like a JAR file and run it as an applet, giving the attacker an opportunity to run Java code on the victim’s browser, which treats the applet as though it was written by the Web site’s developers.

The researchers say the attack could work on any site that allows users to upload files, possibly even sites that are used to upload banking card photos or sites such as Amazon.com. The GIFAR attack can be prevented by improving filtering tools so Web sites can detect the hybrid files, and Sun could also improve the Java runtime environment.

Brazilian hackers stalk Twitter,
try to wax the unwary

I actually had a couple of those show up as followers, but it was easy to tell they were spam so I just blocked them.  But I can see if you had a lot of followers (6,000 as opposed to 16, like me) it would be easier to miss and a lot more time consuming.

My friend Mark had to stay in the hospital all week last week in the neurology ward.  He was hooked up by the head to monitors the whole time.  With an attractive hairnet to keep it all in place.  And he was intentionally sleep-deprived.  Torture!  We brought him some coffee to ease the sleepiness.  I don’t think it helped much.

The phone rang and he got up to answer it.  Naturally, I took advantage of the moment.  I was hopeful about getting his arse on teh intarwebs. Alas, it was not to be.
But now I know:  Boxers!

A branch full of nearly ripe peaches. We had a good haul this year.  There were lots more way up high.  I’m making another fresh peach pie tonight with the last of them.  I did one Saturday night for company and it was really, really good.  I’m not a baker but apparently you don’t need to be if the fruit is this good to begin with.

A perfect peach.

Perfect peach and the dogs.  Local color, don’t you know.

Oh, sweet jeebus, it’s the tomatoes from hell.

I bought tomato plants from KMart this year.  Hahaha, yeah, it sounds pretty stupid now that I type it out.  But they were supposed to be heirlooms and sweet cherry 100s and one other kind.

Instead, I got all of some sort of canning Roma variety.  By canning, I mean that you can run over them with a truck and they keep their shape.  Once they are rosy red, there’s not a drop of liquid left in them.  All flesh. Just Awful.  Worst eating tomatoes ever.  Plus, I’ve never seen tomatoes with a growth habit like this.  They took over my little raised bed box.  Smothered the eggplant, peppers, and green beans.  Pulled up their stakes and knocked over the tomato cages.  I finally gave one of the plants an old ladder to lean on.  I hope I get it back some day.

I have many times many bad little tomatoes to do something with.  I think I’ll make some experimental green tomato chow-chow relish.  The tomatoes are better green or orange than red.  It’s odd.  I guess if a person was going to make sauce they would work.
Except for the taste.

Last  but not least - I bought four little clearance garden torches from Pier One.  They’re so cute!   Too bad we have zero mosquitoes this year.   I’ll never need to light them.
West Nile was so bad around here that the county has made a concerted effort to get rid of the mosquitoes.  It worked.  But whatever they did quadrupled/gazupled the fly population.  It’s intense.  Worse than the dairy farm.  You just can’t fuck with mother nature and expect to get away with it.

IBM Software Acts as Human Memory Backup
Computerworld (07/31/08) Gaudin, Sharon

IBM researchers have developed Pensieve, software that helps people keep track of what’s happened in their lives. Pensieve uses images, sounds, and text recorded on mobile devices to help people recall names, faces, conversations, and events. The software collects and organizes pieces of information, stores them, and helps the user extract the information later.

“Today, we’re flooded with information. It’s an information overload and we’re not capable of handling it,” says IBM project leader Eran Belinsky. “This would relieve us from the anxiousness or need to try to remember everything.”

Pensieve is similar to the MyLifeBits’ project being conducted by Microsoft researcher Gordon Bell, who is also developing a way for people to remember different aspects of their lives. Bell is trying to store his life on a laptop by collecting telephone conversations, music, lectures, books he’s written and read, and photographs. Belinsky says hundreds of IBM employees are currently testing the software.

http://zombieharmony.com/

At Zombie Harmony, it’s brains over looks every time.

Female: HungryBarbara

Tagline:  HHRRRRRRRNNNGGGG  OM NOM NOM!

————————————–

Customer Testimonials:

Made me chuckle today

–==++   TopFive’s News Headlines   ++==–

China Blames Olympic Torch Flame for Beijing Smog

Bin Laden Falls Victim to Mortgage Mess, Loses Cave

X-Games Athlete Sent Home After Testing Negative for Drugs

Tyra Banks Weight-Loss Secret: Self-Absorption

Manny Ramirez Seeks Trade Back to Home Planet

Credits: David Kass (1), Jerry L. Embry (2),
Tristan Fabriani (3), Bill Muse (4), Ron Arol (5)

Send submissions to headlines@topfive.com

Researchers Help Define Next-Gen Social Networking
IDG News Service (07/28/08) Gohring, Nancy

Academic researchers predict that the next generation of social networking will give more people tools for defining smaller online communities in a way that mimics the real world. Rochester Institute of Technology’s Liz Lawley, speaking at Microsoft Research’s annual Faculty Summit, says current social tools are broken in regards to context and establishing boundaries over who to share information with. Many social network sites require users to become a part of a huge community, or force users to choose whether someone is a friend or not, with no subtleties defining relationships.

“People want to create villages and they’re being forced into cities,” Lawley says. “That’s creating a huge tension in social interactions.” Academic researchers could help develop tools to allow for such specific social networking, but first they must start using the tools, Lawley says, as many have no idea how to use online tools such as sharing a bookmark with other people or moderating comments on a blog.

Lawley also objects to some of the restrictions that separate children from adults online. For example, Lawley says she cannot interact with her 14-year-old son on Second Life because he has to be in the teen grid and she is in the adult grid.

Shutting down sites or isolating people will not solve the problem of sexual predators, she says. And although there is merit in age verification online, it should not be used to segregate users. Instead, Lawley says it would be better for parents to teach young people how to interact safely with adults online.

Andrew came and spent the weekend, mostly so he could roll around with the dogs.  Here’s another crappity Treo pic, showing a good sized pile of dogs and one son.  Andrew was awake by the time I snapped this, hence the forthcoming smile.

Gunnar, Andrew, Sissy, and Lewi in a tired pile

Sissy is never happier than when Andrew comes to visit.  She sleeps with him in the twin bed, head on pillow, legs sticking out over the edge, same position as this picture.  It’s quite funny.  I’ll snap that next time, possibly with a better camera.  But it probably won’t be a better picture.

Or, jokes of little character?

@copyblogger asked people to send in their best twitter-sized jokes.  I present them here for your reading pleasure.  You’ve probably read/heard most of them before but I got a few fresh giggles (most notably the first one), so …

What do you call a Dachshund with Steel testicles?
“Sparky”

On hearing about the threat of Bird ‘Flu, Mr Bush had to be prevented from bombing the Canary Islands.

Dog walks into wild west saloon and says ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw’

“Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward”.

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live”.

When it comes to charity, a lot of people will stop at nothing.

Obese children aren’t greedy, they just have slow metabolisms…oh and very fast chip eating hands.

At the Gym I asked the trainer “Can you help me do the splits?” He said “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays”

In the Chinese restaurant a duck came up to me & said “your eyes are like stars”. I said “Waiter I asked for Aromatic duck”.

I went to the supermarket to complain about the lumps in my vinegar, the shop assistant said “those are pickled onions”.

I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.. When I rang her the next day I asked “Did you get my drift?”

I went to the doctor’s - he said “you’ve got hypochondria”… I said…”Not that as well!”

“I told my son, some day you’ll have kids of your own and he said, ya, so will you.”

What did the bulldog say to the alligator? Hey dude, why the long face?

Q: Why did the strawberry go out with the plum? A: Because he could not find a date.

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No eye deer.

Q: What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom? A: He’s a real fun guy [fungi].”

q: what do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? a: a stick.

A buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, “make me one with everything.”

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said Thyroid problem?’

two guys walk into a bar. you’d think one of them would have seen it.

How can you tell when a computer programmer has had sex? When he’s washing the pepper spray out of his eyes.

How do you tell if a blogger is extroverted? When he talks with you, he looks at your shoes.

How many copywriters does it take to change a light bulb? Ans: Zero - A good copywriter convinces their readers to change it!

Why are pirates happy? A: Because they ARRRRR!!!

Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says “Oi - get out! We don’t want your type in here”

a woman walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a double entendre. so the bartender gave it to her.

“Bad news & worse news. Bad news is you have 24 hrs to live.” Patient:”Worse news?” Doc:”I meant to call you yesterday.”

Well, there was the man who ran over himself. He couldn’t get anyone to go to the store for him, so he ran over himself.

Why did the computer cross the road? *to get a byte to eat*

I asked my wife “what do you call an exploding monkey?” I had “a baboom” as a punchline. She shot back: “an orangubang!”

Hey, what’s brown and sticky? *A stick*